Accidental Twinning!
As most of you know, we found out that we were expecting our first babe last December, which means for all of 2020 I was pregnant—until very recently when our little one joined us at the end of August. My experience thus far has been nothing short of eventful. The pregnancy itself was relatively easy, but it’s no surprise to anyone that life has been turbulent this year.
I started the new year with a new job at Workday, Inc., spent a whopping two months onboarding, then we were all sent home. As of today, I’ve spent more time working from home in this new role than I have in person. And now, we’ve been home since the beginning of March when I was juuuuuuuust beginning to show but still very much in the “burrito or baby” phase of the first trimester. Of course, that was when we all thought our shelter-in-place would be over within a month. Fast forward to seven months later, and I found myself grieving the lost experiences once again.
You see, somehow, in my mind the restrictions of the pandemic and pregnancy became intertwined. Anyone that has been pregnant can likely relate. Your body becomes a vessel for growing and creating life which means so many things become potentially dangerous for the life we are creating including a multitude of preventative measures from diet changes to activity changes, and even desire changes. So while I was able to reconcile giving up so much as part of the pregnancy, it felt like I was giving up even more due to the pandemic.
Here’s where things get more twisted. I have to consistently remind myself that just because Bea has made her grand entrance into our world, doesn’t mean everything is back to normal. In fact, much of the sacrifices I had gotten used to were less to do with the pregnancy and more to do with the pandemic. Talk about mental gymnastics. Here’s where my yoga off the mat has come into play.
The dramatic shift in lifestyle leading up birth and now has proven to be ripe for savoring the simple things. After Bea was born, I thought I’d be able to hop right back into everything I was doing before getting pregnant: workouts, to-do lists, running the household, hanging out with friends… you know, normal life. I can now admit that was a bit naive on my part (insert joke about being a first time mom). What I have found is that erasing my to-do list, at the encouragement of my therapist, I have settled into a slower pace. It’s as if the weight of that list has been lifted and now we can slow wayyy down. I’ve allowed myself to do one thing a day, and even then that’s a bonus. We’ll never have these precious months back where our babe is so little and now I find myself fully immersed in all things baby, it certainly makes the long (sleepless) nights much more manageable. I found myself falling so deeply in love with Bea in those wee hours of the morning when it’s just her and me and nothing else in the world matters.
So, what if you eliminated your to-do list and allowed yourself to do one thing each day instead of the endless to-dos? What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the best? How would you choose to spend that time instead? Maybe try it for one day or even a week.
With deep love,
Paige